‘Where you going to Miss?’ an eastern european accent inquired from the drivers seat as I slid into the back of the black ford focus.
A pungent aroma- of what i assumed to be cigarettes and sweat- flooded my nostrils, temporarily impairing my respiratory system. My insulted reflexes and survival instinct sent me lunging for the window button on the side of the door, gasping for air as I waited for the glass to lower.
‘You ok there Miss?’ the cabbie asked, craning his neck around the head restraint to reveal a pair of lawlessly unkempt brows.
‘Uh…Yeah…Fine…Kentish Town please… Weardale Road.’ I croaked, amidst my battle for oxygen.
‘Ok Miss.’ he replied, blissfully immune to the stench of his own body odour, as he fiddled with the sat-nav attached to the side of the wind screen.
‘You want radio on Miss?’
No. What I want is for you to have a shower, stop talking and drive so I can stare out of the window peacefully and evaluate my life choices.
‘Um no thanks,’ I replied coyly, faking a sugar coated smile as our eyes met in the rear view mirror.
Refreshing punches of air greeted my face as we pulled out onto Holloway road, cruising by the familiar string of pubs and oriental takeaways and barely clothed sixteen year olds roaming the streets looking for somewhere that wouldn’t ID. I guided my phone out of my pockets, winding out the labyrinth of headphones that encased it, and pressed the home screen button to check the time. 9.24pm. The roads were surprisingly clear for a Friday night and apparently my unhygienic cab driver knew how to step on it, so I opened up the messenger app and hovered my fingertips over the keyboard before I began tapping.
I’m in a cab, will be about fifteen mins x
The next few minutes of my life were spent crucially debating whether I should have added another kiss or not. I learnt the hard way not to underestimate the significance of the ‘x’: two exudes sexual tension; one maintains more of an aura of mystery; and anyone that sends anything above that- unless they’re your mum or using for the purpose of sarcasm- should be avoided at all costs. There’s something not quite right about a multiple kiss user. Concluding that I’d made the right decision to play it safe with one, my attention was stolen by the uncomfortable juxtaposition of nerves and excitement that was stirring in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t seen him for quite a while- almost three weeks I calculated- definitely long enough for him to have been with other girls. Natural female instinct took control and flicked my mind into overdrive.
Were they prettier than me?
They probably were.
Did they have better bodies than me?
Well it’s not hard is it.
How big were their boobs?
Shit I bet they all had at least double D’s.
Might as well turn around and go home.
The sound of my phone buzzing interrupted my frantic Q&A session on the potentially non-existent competition.
Ok. Can’t wait to see you xx– Alex
I fought against the pathetic smile that was apparently desperate to occupy my face. Those last five words cast my anxiety aside, replacing it with a warm, floating sensation that lingered with me all the way to Kentish Town until the car gradually tempered to a standstill on the side of the road. Still thoroughly engaged in a doe-eyed daze, I gazed out of the window up at the familiar house I had spent so many nights.
‘Miss, that will be twenty two pounds please.’ Snapped out of my trance by the mention of money, I dug a twenty and a five out of my pocket, thrusting them into the cabbies impatient hands. I swung open the car door without stopping to wait for my change, and tumbled onto the pavement.
Fuck it’s cold tonight.
The anxious jittery feeling resurfaced as I edged towards the bright red door, bringing my hand up to the cold frame to ring the doorbell.
The sound of heavy footsteps grew nearer.
Fuck it’s really cold.
I shivered on the spot and took a step back.
The door swung open.
Alex was propped up against the side of the wall, wearing a navy flannel shirt unbuttoned at the top, offering a subtle trailer of his tanned chest. He ran his fingers through the curtain of thick hair that framed his face, unveiling his dark brooding eyes.
Holy shit I’m punching.
‘Come in its freezing!’ He hauled me inside by the waist, sending an army of goosebumps charging down the side of my body.
‘Yes oh my God it’s so fucking cold.’ All of my muscles relaxed as the warmth of his house enveloped me.
‘…Hey by the way!’ I added, swinging my arms around his neck to grace him with the compulsory hug.
‘Haha hey Evie.’ He responded, resting his arms slightly lower down my back than necessary. Alex was one of those take-your-shoes-off-at-the-door guys- a trait which doesn’t usually sit well with me- but hey- no one’s perfect.
I wriggled out of my suede black chelsea boots and shook off my coat. He trailed behind me at a distance as I paced across the cream carpet that covered the hallway towards the kitchen and the living room.
Shit he’s probably looking at my bum isn’t he.
I should have worn the American Apparel jeans.
My bum definitely looks better in them.
He placed his warm hands onto my shoulders and steered me into the kitchen.
‘Fancy a drink?’
Three 75% gin and 25% tonics later, my confidence was roaring and all of my insecurities had dissolved, as I lay sprawled across the sofa howling with laughter at a story Alex was telling me about his cokehead neighbour.
‘…and so I literally just backed out of the room and left her rocking backwards and forwards on the chair laughing at the wall! I was just like what the fuck?’ he babbled. Droplets of gin splattered across the sofa as I collapsed with laughter.
Very smooth Evie. Well done.
An indecipherably serious expression replaced the smile on his face as he took the drink out of my hand and placed it on top of the glass coffee table without saying a word.
Shit he looks annoyed.
Did I do something wrong?
Is he pissed off about the spilt gin?
Tightening his hands around my wrists, he drew me in towards him so our faces were millimetres apart. His brown eyes bore into mine. His breath warmed my face.
‘Are you going to give me a kiss then?’ he ushered in a low tone, entirely motionless. The urge to rip his clothes off set in at this point; but I had something interesting planned for this evening, and didn’t want to rush it or give anything away too quickly.
‘Mmm maybe… depends.’
‘On?’ he pressed his body up against mine.
Shit this is the part where I’m supposed to come up with a witty response.
I did not think this through.
‘….on whether I feel like it.’
Another good one. Witty and original.
He paused, scanning my eyes for answers.
‘I know you want to.’
His lips parted and hovered over mine, lingering there for a moment; not kissing; just touching. Lacking patience, I curled my hands around his neck and initiated a kiss, weaving my lips in and out of his. The taste of alcohol and cigarettes was faint but present. I kind of liked it. It tasted of him, of the nights we’d spent together. Instinctively, I brought my hands up to his chest, peeling the top of his shirt back to explore his bare skin. As our kiss continued steadily gathering momentum, he lifted me around to straddle him initiating an involuntary circling movement in my hips.
‘So you know I said I was going to make it up to you?’ I slurred, as a playful smile lit up my face.
‘Well, I’ve got a surprise for you…’ Undoubtedly intrigued, he raised his eyebrows and tugged me in towards him, caressing my thighs gently.
‘…but I need to go to the toilet quickly!’ I announced. He really didn’t have a clue what was about to hit him. Grabbing my bag apprehensively I scurried out of the room towards the bathroom. His heart must’ve sunk because everyone knows the only time a girl brings her whole bag with her to the toilet, is when she’s on her period. Poor guy was probably petrified I would come back swinging a used tampon in front of his face. Surprise Alex!
Locking the door behind me, I quickly fished the black bodycon suspender dress and stockings out of my bag. I didn’t want to take too long or he’d come looking for me. That would completely fuck up the blueprints I had drawn up in my mind for how this night was going to do down. I stripped completely, and rolled the stockings up my legs carelessly. Then after squeezing the black mesh cami over my body, I clipped the stockings onto the suspenders. As i spun around to unlock the door, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, and I do hate to be arrogant but I was most definitely bringing sexy back. The combination of mesh and lycra fabric detained all of my wobbly bits, and the stockings rimmed with floral lace at the top, encased my thighs perfectly. Somewhat smug and radiating confidence, I headed back into the room where a tipsy Alex sat unaware on his sofa, watching Family Guy, drinking gin and tonic. His eyes widened as I sauntered across the room.
‘Oh hey.’ I said. He remained mute, focusing on the sight before him. For a brief few seconds, I was genuinely scared he was going to come there and then.
‘You…you look… fucking awesome,’ he managed to stutter as his impatient hands wandered vertically up my thighs.
‘Thanks.’ More than satisfied with this reaction, I knelt down between his legs and allowed my hands to do some wandering of their own; he was deliciously hard. Without breaking eye contact, I carefully unbuckled his belt and zipped down his black jeans. My gaze fell to the prominent outline of his erection beneath his boxers. I felt a flutter in my pelvis. Reaching out to free his erection, I made sure to meet his eyes once again. I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me- but tonight was his treat, so tucking my hair behind my ears, I brought my tongue to the tip of his cock and licked it.
I glanced up at him and smiled.
Wrapping my whole mouth around the top of his cock, I began working my lips backwards and forwards further down his shaft. His eyes rolled to the back of his head with pleasure. Within a matter of seconds I was sucking his dick with passion and intensity. It tasted good and I moaned every time it struck the back of my throat. Concerned for his stamina, I decided to cool things down for a while and let my hands take over duty.
‘Shall we go upstairs?’ I asked. My patience was deteriorating and I needed to feel that hard cock inside me as soon as possible.
‘Yes.’ His revealing tone made it clear that as thirsty as I was, his desire outweighed mine. Another good thing about this lingerie was that it could make an anorexic, pre pubescent boy’s bum look rotund and peachy. So tactically, I got up and walked out of the room first, leading him behind me practically drooling like a baby over my falsely advertised derriere. As we ascended the stairs his gaze never wavered from my bum and I didn’t need to look at him to know that.
‘Never come to my place dressed like this again. You might never leave.’ he said. I blushed.
‘I’m fucking serious. You look so fucking sexy.’ The corners of my mouth crept upwards in response but I ushered them back down in an attempt to prevent them dampening my sex appeal. Theres nothing sexy about a cheshire cat.
We tumbled across the room falling entwined onto his bed. He lay down on his back and seized my hips, pulling them towards his face. It took me a moment to comprehend what he was about to do. Alex Sackwell everyone: the cunninglingus phobe. One of the many disgraceful boys in Britain who refuse to go down despite expecting an endless supply of blowjobs on demand. Jesus Christ. Seven months I had been sleeping with this boy and the whole time, all it took was a thirty pound slutty outfit from Ann Summers! All I could think of at that moment was how much I would like to express my gratitude to this ‘Ann’ for everything she has done for the women of Britain and personally nominate her for a nobel peace prize.
His mouth pressed against my bare skin and goosebumps prickled over my entire body. His tongue explored every crevice of my pussy and I felt myself begin to melt. I continued riding his face, letting out a lengthy involuntary sigh when his tongue brushed against my clit.
‘Oh babyyy,’ was all that I managed to say, but that was enough encouragement for him. He followed direction and continued moving his tongue back and forth against my clitoris, taking me to new levels of ecstasy. He varied the pace for the next few minutes and my legs started to tremble. I didn’t want to orgasm just yet. I wanted this feeling to last forever, or at least slightly longer; so I broke away and kissed him desperately on the mouth.
‘Baby I need you to fuck me now’ I demanded. Without hesitation, he slipped his cock into my dripping vagina and drove it backwards and forwards accumulating speed.
‘Yes baby…’ he hissed.
‘…Ahhh you’re so fucking tight.’ That was a relief to hear because i felt as though all my vaginal muscles had packed up for the evening and gone home. I could tell from his face that he wasn’t going to last much longer. I decided to put him out of his misery because- to be fair- this night was supposed to be all about him.
‘You wanna come?’ I whispered into his ear in hot breathy tones.
‘Mmhmm,’ his face strained further as he continued thrusting his perfect cock in and out of my pussy.
‘Where do you wanna come?’ I teased. I realised I wasn’t going to get an answer to that question when he hauled his cock out of my body with intense concentration and sprayed his warm sticky semen onto my stomach. In the heat of his sexual release, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he drew a dizzy semi circle with his neck. I was starting to feel slightly light headed myself just watching him. When he eventually came back down from whatever planet he was on, the small puddle of white liquid on my stomach caught his attention.
‘Ah fuck… Let me get you a towel,’ he insisted. I waited patiently as he leapt up, scurried across the room and reached for the purple towel that was hanging on the radiator.
‘Thanks.’ I gave my mid section a thorough wipe down and discarded the cum-covered towel on the floor, grabbing my phone from the bedside table as I sat up.
One missed call: Sammie
I was supposed to meet her and some of the others that evening to see the light show in Central London but as usual when the classic ‘What are you doing tonight?’ text came through from Alex, any prior plans I had for the evening became redundant. I stood up and made my way over to the open window where a cold stab of air waited patiently to greet me. I’ve always liked the view from his window, i mean its nothing special, just the back of a few houses and some more houses. But it’s London, and it’s comforting. I tapped the ‘call back’ option on my phone and shivered on the spot while it rang.
‘Evie, where are you?!’ she squealed into my ear.
’I thought you were coming to the light show?’
I paused to figure out how best to phrase my response. Is there a polite way of saying ‘Sorry I couldn’t be bothered because a boy texted me and good sex was on the cards.’?
‘Sammie! I’m so sorry something came up and I couldn’t get out of it. How was the light show?’
’It was so amazing! But Josh and Emily had like this massive fight and basically just ruined the whole thing for everyone because they made the whole night about them. What are you doing now? Me and Gemma are looking for a motive.’
‘Ummm I’m actually just with a….buddy at the moment.’
‘Buddy?’ Alex whispered as he approached from behind and slid a warm pair of hands across my rear. He kissed my neck and a flutter rippled through my pelvis. It had only been about five minutes since we’d had sex, but I hadn’t climaxed and the juices were still very much flowing as far as I was concerned. I forgot I was on the phone for a moment and turned to face Vienna.
‘Well would you prefer I referred to you as something else?’
‘No…but I’m hardly your buddy am I?’
This was a delicate topic. We weren’t in a relationship, but we had sex. Apparently we weren’t buddies. Neither of us knew whether the other had feelings for one another, and to be honest i don’t think either of us knew ourselves how we felt about each other.
‘Evie? Are you still there? Whereabouts are you? Ask your friend if we can come too!’ Sammie’s muffled voice squealed from the phone.
‘Sorry babe, me and her are going to have sex. I don’t think you want to be there for that.’ Alex slurred into the phone. Though this did leave me feeling slightly embarassed, his candor was attractive.
‘Ooooh I see. Ooo ok. Have fun kids. Be safe!’ Clearly amused, Sammie laughed and hung up the phone. Who wouldn’t be happy to see an old friend getting laid?
Alex was still pressed up behind me, his hands had now diverted their journey to my thighs. Surely he couldn’t be ready to have sex again? It hadn’t even been five minutes since the last time. Well, as my mother always said, you don’t get what you want in life unless you go after it yourself! I slid my hands up his thigh and reached for his crotch by virtue of my impatient curiosity, only to find that the beast was dormant; I mean it was hardly surprising but the disappointment was written all over my face. He threw me an apologetic smile and led me back to the bed. We lay there for a few minutes side by side in silence. I thought about his reaction to me calling him my ‘buddy’ and was surprised by how much I enjoyed him challenging it- but what was i supposed to call him? I mean ‘boyfriend’ was completely out of the question; maybe i should have called him my ‘fuck buddy’, but it felt like there was something too brutal about ‘fuck buddy’ that didn’t quite fit the brief of what was going on here. We were in a kind of undefined limbo and I didn’t know where exactly that was, but I knew we couldn’t stay in it forever because the longer we did, the more it would hurt when we eventually got out of it.
The realisation was gradually setting in that maybe I wanted more than just sex from him.
‘Are you hungry Evie? Do you fancy ordering a pizza?’
The ann summers lingerie had really worked its magic for me that evening. The last time I’d stayed over I’d begged him to order me a post-sex pizza and he insisted that nowhere would be open at 2.00am that delivered to Kentish Town. Erm dominoes is a twenty four hour service you fool.
‘Mmm, if you want to? I’m not really fussed,’ I lied.
‘Okay. Let me see what I can do.’ he replied, like a wild animal about to brace the jungle in a dangerous bid to gather food for his cubs. I’m sorry, but it’s not rocket science. You download the app, enter your postcode, pick a pizza, press the order button, and Bob’s your fucking uncle! He punched some numbers into the phone and dialled. A long pause followed; I was starting to think Papa John wasn’t home.
‘Hey…yeah I was just wondering if you delivered to Kentish Town…mhmm…yep…5 Weardale Road…okay great can I get one margherita and one meat feast please?…Er cash…Great thanks!’ He put the phone down. I couldn’t help but feel slightly offended that he had me down straight away as a plain margherita girl, despite the fact that I am one- am I that obviously boring?
‘The guy said its going to be half an hour.’ he announced with pride. The wild boar had returned home with with enough prey to feed his wife and cubs, and the cubs were happy.
‘Cool.’ I smiled and leant in to kiss him. He was the perfect balance of sexy and cute with his dark hair swept across his face and tracksuit bottoms that were so long for him, his feet had poked holes in the bottom. Our lips greeted one another lightly, but developed within seconds into a passionate and desperate session of tonsil tennis. This was the Wimbledon final of tonsil tennis. I could feel the tension in my own body rising as he tore his mouth away from mine and dragged it down my neck, straight down the centre of my core. I breathed heavily and let out an involuntary sigh. How did he do this to me every time? He paused just above my pussy and looked up at me.
‘Well what are we going to do with half an hour…?’ he asked. My body throbbed as the corners of his mouth turned upwards and he buried his head between my legs. Too lightheaded to even think about coming up with a witty response I lay back and let myself be pleasured. Times like this was why I still believe sex with Alex was like a form of meditation to me. It was the only time when my mind would fully switch off and let my body take control. It was so organic and never felt unnatural or forced like it had with other guys before him. He continued weaving his tongue through my pussy until I was grabbing the bed sheets to steady my body from jerking with pleasure. His hands migrated north to support my fully arched back, as he slid his solid cock inside me.
“Fuck,’ was all I could manage. Our hips moved in perfect sync as we thrust our bodies together, the scent of sex filling the air. After a short while, he withdrew himself from me.
‘Get on the floor.’ he demanded. I obeyed and immediately shuffled out of the bed onto the grey fur rug that covered the wooden floor. He scrambled off of the bed after me.
‘Get on your knees.’ Again I obeyed, and knelt down on my knees. He slowly rubbed his perfectly hard cock against the entrance of my pussy and that beautifully torturous throbbing sensation returned. I whimpered. Clearly enjoying the torture, he moved his cock upwards and rubbed it against my clit. This amount of teasing shouldn’t be legal; I was desperate for him.
‘Fuck me…please,’ I begged.
‘You want me to fuck you?’ he teased.
‘Mmhmm.’ I cried out as he drove his cock deep into my pussy and pleasure rippled through my body. I lost track of how long we continued fucking like this, his cock pounding against my G spot, but I’m guessing it was around ten minutes. Annoyingly, our doggy session was interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing and whilst still maintaining the pace we had set, he reached over to the bedside table to grab the phone.
‘Shit, its the pizza guy!’ he yelled, his cock still pounding me faultlessly.
‘Answer it, he..might…be…downstairs,’ I managed to say inbetween thrusts. He pressed the green button.
‘Hi…uk ok….uh..yeah…five minutes…cool,’ he panted. Flinging the phone aside, he picked up the pace. I was almost there, so close to my climax i could feel my eyes watering.
‘Come on baby, come for me,’ he hissed.
‘Oh fuuuck!’ I wailed as I reach my climax. It must’ve been the realisation that a lonely pizza lay waiting downstairs with my name on it that finished the job.
‘Go and get the pizza.’ I demanded breathlessly as I collapsed onto the rug. Vienna threw his trackies back on and flew down the stairs, returning moments later hugging two pizza boxes. I didn’t waste any time getting stuck in.
‘Thank youuu,’ I chorused after having devoured half of my margherita.
‘Are you not going to eat the rest?’ he asked.
‘No I’m quite tired now. I’ll have it for breakfast.’
I clambered into bed feeling nourished and sexually gratified. He flicked off the light and crawled in beside me, his muscular arms instinctively wrapping themselves around my body, pulling me in close. I felt a wave of calm and safe familiarity.
‘Whats your plans for tomorrow?’ I asked.
‘I’ve got a couple of the guys from my band coming round at like nine so probably will just be working all day.’ he replied, squeezing me in closer. As sexy as I found it that he was a musician, it was annoying as fuck because it meant I could never really lie in properly as there was always someone coming round to ‘work’ on a Sunday. I don’t even understand how it can be classified as work, hanging out with your best mates all day, doing something that you love. I did just wish that for once we could lie in together and get breakfast, and I wouldn’t have to roll out of bed at ridiculous hours in the morning half dressed, looking and feeling like a prostitute.
‘What are you gonna do?’ he asked.
‘Well considering I’ve got a normal job I won’t be working on a Sunday. I don’t know really, I’ll probably just netflix and chill with myself and eat loads of food and get fat and then cry about how i’m an obese bitch and no one will ever love me. Same old same old.’
‘Sounds fun’ he laughed.
‘Erm, excuse me that’s the part where you tell me to eat as much as i like because my body’s amazing and i’m a sex goddess to men.’
‘Eat as much as you like Evie. Your body’s fucking amazing. You’re a sex goddess to men.’
‘Good boy.’ I smiled and closed my eyes.
I woke up to find that I’d turned around in the night to face him, my head nestled into his chest. I was warm and comfortable; I loved waking up like that. His eyes parted slightly to reveal tiny brown slits like a newborn hamster, as I wriggled out of his clutches to reach for my phone.
‘Shit its 8.45. I should go.’ I said, clambering out of bed. Fuck, my head really hurt. How much did i drink last night? I quickly scanned the floor for my clothes but only managed to identify the Ann Summers underwear that had been ripped off my body during the pre-pizza sex. Realising they must still be on the bathroom floor, I darted downstairs stark naked, racing past the window so as not to flash the builders doing work on the house across the road (not that they would mind I suppose). I threw on my black high waisted jeans and scooped up my T-shirt that was strewn across the floor. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ Alex stood at the doorway of his kitchen, his eyes tired and still hamster-like, his hair a dark mess.
‘Umm, do you have time? Aren’t the band coming round?’ I asked. Tea can be a lengthy affair, once you factor in kettle boiling time, brewing time and cooling time. I thought considering it was now 8.51am, a cup of tea would be slightly ambitious.
‘Ollie’s just texted, they’re running late, probably won’t be here for another hour,’ he answered.
‘Oh ok, well go on then. Do you have any herbal teas?’ I asked as I joined him in the kitchen.
‘Ummm yeah let me have a look… Ok I’ve got peppermint, lemon and ginger..’
‘Peppermints fine.’ I interrupted.
‘Peppermint is it then. I fancy one as well actually.’ He filled up the kettle and flicked the switch on the wall. As the kettle crescendoed into a growl, I spotted my unsightly reflection in the microwave. Jesus Christ I am not a morning person. How did he even get an erection over this?
‘I’m just gonna to try and fix my face a little bit before I leave if we’ve got a bit more time.’ I muttered, grabbing my bag and shooting up the stairs. I poured the contents of my makeup bag onto the floor and admired my tools. The relationship I have with makeup is powerful enough to rival that of Romeo and Juliet. My eyeshadows never let me down. My lipsticks are always there for me. And my bronzers never like other girls photos on facebook. They just…get me. I picked up a concealer and applied it to the second head that had manifested on my chin. That must be the reincarnation of last nights pizza; I was wondering when it was going to show up. I was halfway through applying my foundation when Alex came edging through the door trying not to spill two cups of peppermint tea.
I hopped up to grab my tea and stared out across the view of London. Alex shuffled over to join me by the window and slid it open, lighting up his cigarette, inhaling deeply. I studied his face; sometimes I couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was. Coming from a strange mix of Swedish and West Indian background, he had this beautiful tanned complexion. His eyes were deep brown and inviting, hidden underneath these long, thick eyelashes, and he had the perfect amount of stubble.
‘What are you looking at?’ he asked, taking a toke of his cigarette.
‘Oh just at how ugly you are,’ I smiled sarcastically. Embarrassed to have been caught perving, I retreated back to the makeup station and continued aiding the natural disaster that was my face. When I had successfully transformed myself from a generous two out of ten to a solid four, I packed up my things and wandered over to Alex, still smoking out the window, to say goodbye.
‘Ok well I’m off now. Have fun with work,’ I quipped as I cast my arms around his neck.
‘Yeah ok, I’ll see you soon.’ he answered, returning my hug, once again resting his arms slightly lower than necessary down my back.
‘Ok, bye buddy!’ I called, already halfway down the stairs. Grabbing my coat on my way out, I closed the front door behind me and fumbled in my pocket for my headphones. The intro to Tame Impala- The Less I Know The Better filled my ears as I stepped out onto the isolated street.